Hey all. It’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been
somewhat busy with school and training, but the only reason I haven’t posted is
because I haven’t felt the need or want to write about anything. Something
happened during my ride today that made me want to write so I decided I would
fill in the timeline between my last post and this one.
After my last race, which was Lakeside in September, we
started my off-season pretty much immediately. Alex forced me to take 2 weeks
completely off, which of course I only lasted about a week and a half before he
gave in and let me start with some short easy workouts. The weather was still
tolerable so I tried to get out and ride as much as possible since I knew the
focus going into the next season had to be the bike. With a generous early
graduation gift from my grandparents, I struck a deal with friend and fellow
triathlete Chris Balestrini and bought a brand new road bike and my first set
of race wheels. Having the least amount of class hours since I started University
and having less training hours than I’d had during the summer, I had a lot of
free time and I allowed myself to fall into a rut that I’m often a victim of,
which is laziness in its most devastating form. I was falling behind in my
school work (which really was only my thesis research), I was sitting around
watching a lot of YouTube and in general I just let a lot of things slip
through the cracks.
Moving into November and December, school deadlines were
fast approaching, I’d started to think about my future after graduation
(Masters, work, etc.), I had scholarship deadlines, my emotions were all over
the place, and in the end I just couldn’t handle it all. I basically stopped
doing any spin workouts in December, I stopped making it to morning swims, and felt
like I was just hanging on by a thread. Only two months earlier I woke up every
day happy and very grateful for the life I had and now I found myself feeling depressed
whenever I was by myself. It took a lot to get through, but having a good
support group around me (friends, family) and knowing that I could start fresh
once Christmas vacation came around helped me. I know myself as someone who
doesn’t give up easily so I knew it was just something I had to wait out and
fight through.
Coming back from vacation (which I enjoyably spent with
family in the Dominican Republic), I felt mentally refreshed. I felt like I had
a lot of catching up to do since I only got small amounts of running done over
the vacation and I had mentally written off any training I did in December,
even though I actually still got in all my run and swim training. The first
week was a bit of a struggle. I would die after the swim warm ups and I only
made it to 45 minutes in my first ride, but it is starting to come together
again. Other than a cold that I’m dealing with right now I’m more consistent.
Last week was my biggest week since last February and most importantly I’m
enjoying it all. Bringing this post around full circle, the reason I decided to
write this blog today was because of my bike workout today. It was fairly tough
and being sick didn’t make it any easier, but during the cool down I found
myself smiling uncontrollably. I had a moment of clarity where I realized how
much my perspective on life had turned around in such a short time, and I was
really appreciative of the simple fact that I can enjoy the sport. I can only
hope that everyone in the sport has similar moments of clarity, because there
is simply nothing like it.
Until next time,
Matt Mahaffy
